Empathy fail

Me: Oh no, Davy Jones from the Monkees died.
Moira: What?
Me: Someone you don't know died.
Moira: That's good.
Me: What's good?
Moira: That's when you like something.
Me: What did you like?
Moira: That someone died.

Wordless Wednesday: Don't do it!

Seriously, it's much too early to be trying to roll over kid. Take a break.

Linked up at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network.

Menu plan monday

I wasn't really all present this week, as we are very suddenly buying a new house. Walker spent all of Friday over there for the inspection, and I got a taste of what it's going to be like when he goes back to work. I'm going to need to plan easier dinners for awhile.
I totally forgot to make my breakfasts for the week on Sunday, so I'm reusing that plan, eggs and peanut banana squares.

Sunday: Soup
Monday: Dinner out for Mom's birthday
Tuesday: Spaghetti
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday: Nectarine chicken with rice and veggies. I'm going to cook it in the oven though, because our crockpot is too big so last time this got burned.
Friday: Maple salmon with fries and veggies.
Saturday: Leftovers

Why we aren't rear facing

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.

***

I could talk about a lot of things for this carnival. Weaning my daughter before she was ready, hating co-sleeping, feeding her junk food, among many others. But I don't feel like less of a Natural Parent for those things. I can accept that they work or don't work for our family and are valid choices to make.

But there's one thing I am always afraid to admit, so that's what I'm going to talk about. We turned Moira around in her car seat when she was one. I've had people stop talking to me at play dates when I admitted it, and most of the parents I know are avid supporters of extended rear facing, so you can see why I'm a little gun shy.
I'm going to assume that by now you all know that it's a good idea to keep your kid rear facing until at least 2, longer if you can. If not, read this. I agree with everything in that article, but here's the thing. I turned Moira around as soon as legally allowable in this state. I did that knowing full well that she was more likely to die or get seriously hurt in a car accident. If the legal age in Washington had been 2, I don't know what we would have done, other then stop going anywhere. Because she cried in the car, all the time, unless someone was sitting next to her, and frequently she would still cry. There was nothing I could do from the drivers seat that would stop her from crying, although I still drove one handed most of the time so she could suck on my finger WHILE she cried.
Probably this was just temporary, and if I'd waited she would have grown out of it and returned to being a happy passenger. I will never know. But I don't regret my decision. She was miserable. I was distracted. I was almost involved in a number of accidents because I was distracted. And as much as she was safer facing backwards, she was more safe if we didn't get in an accident in the first place. I have every intention of keeping Davis rear facing for as long as possible.
Every time there is a new article about extending rear facing, it circulates through my friends on Facebook. And then some one links to an article about why there are never any good reasons for turning your child around, usually with some sort of "what will it take to convince you?" in the comments. And the answer is nothing. I'm already convinced, but it didn't and doesn't matter.
This is the worst way to convince someone. Especially someone who made a different decision. People who feel attacked dig in their heels, and shut out your more reasonable arguments. I can (but won't) link to similar articles about the AMA or AAP's stance on homebirth (are you crazy?) and vaccines (do it now or we will all die!). In both cases they aim to convince a smallish section of the population do something they think will keep them alive longer, but I know for a fact that their arguments don't convince their target audience of anything. I'm a proud home birthing, alternative vaccine scheduling, not rear facing mama. I made these choices after research, based on what worked best for our family. I will make some decisions different this time around, but I'm not going to let anyone shame me into making those different decisions.

(Full disclosure. I started writing this almost a year ago, and then got too nervous to post it. I'm glad this carnival gave me the nudge I needed.)

***

This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• My kid is a technophile — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction hasn't turned in her natural parenting card yet, even though her son prefers electronic toys
• I'm a Natural Parent, but...I use medicine! — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that while she hesitates to do so, sometimes she does give her son some medicine when his symptoms get really bad.
• I'm Only Half Planning a Natural Birth — Shannon at The Artful Mama discloses how she is planning her semi-natural hospital birth and still dares to call herself a Natural Parent.
• Why we aren't rear facing — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about her decision to turn her one-year-old daughter's carseat around, and how the argument always given for extended rear facing makes her feel.
• Musings of an Almost Crunchy Momma — Valerie at Momma in Progress re-examines her list of natural parenting litmus tests.
• Natural Parenting Does Not Equal Perfect Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits to several not-so-natural parenting and lifestyle practices.
• 10 Reasons to Revoke My Natural Parent Card — Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door discusses why some of her less-than-crunchy practices are better for her family.
• I'm a Natural Parent - BUT... MacNCheese is Awesome. — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy reveals her penchant for some far from healthy eating, cheap food recipes.
• Crunchy on the Inside — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles muses about how the stereotype of a natural parent does not do justice to the very dynamic group that this parenting philosophy attracts.
• My Reality — Megan from The Other Baby Book confesses a few things about her parenting.
• I'm Crunchy But... — Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares confessions on all of her "non" crunchy ways.
• I'm A Natural Parent, But...it took me awhile — It took Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling awhile before fully understanding and appreciating Natural Parenting.
• I Am Not a Perfect Natural Parent — Momma Jorje shares her dirty little secrets as a mostly natural parent.
• Crunchy, But Not Crunchier Than Thou — Instead of comparing yourself to others, Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages you to give yourself permission to be as crunchy as you can for right now.
• I’m a natural parent but…I love bedtimes — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle would never let her children cry-it-out, but she has a selection of other methods to encourage early bedtimes.
• I'm a Natural Parent - BUT... — Lani at Boobie Time Blog believes that following the principles of Natural Parenting doesn't mean you fit a stereotypical mold of societal view.
• Confessions of a Low Supply Mom — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children confesses her insecurities about being a low supply mom.
• I'm a natural parent, but. . . — Not eating her placenta is just one of the ways Ashley at Mama Raw falls short at being a natural parent.
• I'm a Natural Parent But...I have a Few Confessions — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment strives to be a Natural Mama, but wait, she has a few confessions!
• I'm a Natural Parent BUT — Carrie at LoveNotesMama confesses her gratitude for disposable diapers.
• Intestinal Dissection — Melissa from White Noise talks about how imperfection can be beautiful when it is buffered with love.
• How much sugar is too much? — Tat at Mum in Search shares how her no-sugar policy evolved into a balancing act, with the balance point not where she'd like to see it.
• I'm a Natural Parent, but. . . — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about three of her parenting habits that are not super "natural."
• Minus Ten Crunchy Points — Joella at Fine and Fair discusses how some of her parenting choices seen as "too crunchy" by those she knows in real life could get her kicked out of the crunchy mom clubs online.
• The Natural Parent "Model" — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about her love for not-so-natural cosmetics and beauty products.
• Nice to meet you. — Eileen at Love & Greens talks about how being a natural mama means something different to her every day.
• I’m a natural parent…BUT… — Ashley at Daisy Pedals touches on several natural parenting topics; from cloth diapers to cleaning with natural cleaners.
• I'm a natural parent, but you'd be surprised — Lauren at Hobo Mama confesses to liking diet soda and TV and having lost all her reusable shopping bags.
• I’m a Natural Parent, but…. I don’t shop local — Luschka at Diary of a First Child confesses one of her greatest 'natural' failures - she doesn't shop local and support her community, despite wishing she could.
• Who You Callin' Natural? (a Carnival of Natural Parenting Contribution) — A bit of premise exposition, some tongue-in-cheek filler, and a photographic list of all the ways Embrita Blogging cheats at being natural.
• Dirty Secrets of a Green & Natural Mama (and Why I'm Not Afraid to Share Them!) — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her definition of what it means to be a perfect mama as well as a few of her dirty little secrets.
• Green Mommy Guilt — Jen at Jen and Joey Green talks about how being a perfect Green Mom is overrated.
• Life Coping Devices — Amy at Anktangle discusses two ("non-AP") coping strategies her family has used for getting through difficult times with her son: the pacifier and the stroller.
• We use disposable diapers. There. I said it. — The mama at Our Muddy Boots shares a bed, nurses her 4 year old, is vegetarian, and is committed to homeschooling; but Pampers adorn her child's bottom. Ugh!
• Committed to Cloth, but... — Sheila at A Living Family affirms her love of cloth diapering, despite the draw of disposables.
• Natural Parenting as a Doorway to Deep Truths — Amy from Peace for Parents guest posts at Natural Parents Network and shares how for her "natural parenting" is much less about a definition and much more an avenue to explore truths of life.
• Chicken No-nos — Jessica at Pace Family Place strives to live naturally but feeds her oldest son some not-so natural things

What happens when you take 3 babies, a toddler, and a preschooler to a tea house?

Cuteness! And no breakage!

Davis and his belly buddy L3. Look at the chub!

Alrik with Daddy and Amarys. Many things were tasted. I even tasted an egg salad sandwich for the first time and liked it.

Mikko and Arpita.
Many cookies were consumed and much laughter happened. Thank you Arpita for suggesting we get together in the short time you were in Seattle!

WW: Collage

Linking up at Hobo Mama and NPN.

Menu plan monday: Back in the saddle

I took last week off of planning while Walker and Moira were gone. I managed to do a fair amount of cooking on my own, which I was impressed by. But now they are back, and we all need to eat.

Breakfast: Eggs and peanut butter oat squares

Sunday: Cornbread for potluck
Monday: Chickpea patties and kale salad
Tuesday: Roast chicken, potatoes, and veggies
Wednesday: Tuna noodle casserole
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Sausages, fries, and veggies
Saturday: Soup

Davis at 2 months

He had his checkup on Monday, here are the stats:
Weight: 12lbs 10z
Height: 24"

He is in the 75th percentile for height, but only the 25-50% percentile for head size. He is a tall skinny kid. We might have to move up to the 6-9 month clothes soon, just because he's reaching the height limit for his current wardrobe.

He loves the picture Moira hung above his changing table. If he's fussy when I put him down, that picture will usually elicit a smile.

He has started bicycling his legs, and has even gotten his pelvis to tilt a couple of times.

He prefers to sleep lying still, in a dark, quiet room.

He really likes staring at lights.

He has also discovered he can control his tongue. I took some pictures, but my laptop is infected with malware, and I'm waiting to do a system restore before I get the pics off the camera.

That's all I can think of for now. I'm going to take him to his very first movie today. We'll see if he'll sleeps at all.

Sunday Surf: Things for me to think about

Dear Lego, I wasn't surprised when Lego came out with their "girl legos." I have, however, been very disappointing with their response to the backlash, especially their responses to the actual little girls writing in to request changes. Since this was posted, Lego has agreed to meet with SPARK and some other organizations to talk about how they can better serve girls. I hope they are willing to listen.

Learning to Respect Everyone's Needs, This is something we've been struggling with lately. Moira will break down completely when we ask for something like quite nicely and she doesn't listen, so one of use either loses their temper, or removes the problem. I'm hoping that a discussion of OUR needs will help to lessen the number of times where she screams "You hurt my feelings!"

Easy Tips for Successful, Stress Free Field Trips, I need to get more brave about doing trying to organize field trips. Hopefully I can take these tips to heart.

Why is Pinterest Spamming Your Facebook Friends?, This is a huge shame.Using access to people's contacts without asking permission first is a shady business indeed.

Honest and Genuine, a great post from Teacher Tom about how he thinks showing how you handle your emotions is much more effective then authoritarian parenting.

For more surfing, visit Hobo Mama.

Sleepy baby

Walker and Moira are at Disneyland until next Friday. Davis seems to be enjoying not having so much going on, and has been spending most of his time sleeping by himself for hours. I've tried to explain that this is not a sustainable practice for a second child, but he doesn't believe me. Oh well, I hope he enjoys it while it lasts.

Adorable baby video

For your enjoyment.

My babies

Davis would like to show off the teeniest tiny bit of his smile.

Since he only smiles when one of us is making faces at him, it's hard to catch on camera.

I've also been trying to catch his pouty face, but that's even harder because he only makes it seconds before he starts screaming at full tilt.. This is not at all it, but it kind of looks like it. (Here is Moira in the same onesie.)

In other news.

Where did this kid come from? She's so grown up lately. I can't believe she'll be 4 soon.

Menu Plan Monday

We had Moira retested for her food intolerances and she is free to eat wheat, dairy, and pineapple again. We still plan to keep those foods out of rotation in our home for the foreseeable future because there is a possibility that having too much of those things is what caused the problem in the first place. However, we can relax for parties and eating out, so that will be nice.
Walker and Moira are going to Disneyland on Wednesday, which will also be easier with her being able to eat those things. It also means that my meal plan for the next week and a half will probably be heavier on the takeout. I'm going to try cooking without the help of another adult around, but that will depend on how the baby is doing, as he's been having the occasional day of super crankiness.

Source: poorgirleatswell.com via Shannon on Pinterest

(Image included at Jennifer's request.
Breakfast for me all week: Egg pie and chocolate strawberry muffins

Sunday: Mexican casserole
Monday: Crockpot apricot chicken (with nectarine jam instead of apricot), with rice, and veggies.
Tuesday: Fiesta corn & potato chowder
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday:Leftovers (or take out)
Friday: Panzanella
Saturday: Steak, fries, and veggies.

Sunday Surf: Books, toys, and pins

I'm very behind on my reading this week, and I thought I hadn't linked much, but I guess I was wrong.

I'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

Island of Misnamed Toys. Moira hasn't named many of her toys, but her penguin pillow pet is named "Kitten."

A Review of Robert Munsch. This is one of the many reasons I love Robert Munsch.

Pinterest Succeeds by Giving Ladies What They Want. "A new study finds that Pinterest drives more traffic than YouTube, Reddit, Google+, LinkedIn and MySpace."

In Spite Of. I think this holds true in most alternative communities. I turned out okay "in spite of" not going to college, being in the SCA, having a homebirth. When in reality I just turned out okay, and the decisions I made to get here probably had less to do with that then you would think.

For more surfing visit the linky here.