Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Hello fishy

Lately I am not coping with, well, life very well. I'm tired all the time. It's likely just a flare up of my anxiety disorder, and since I've been playing whack a mole with different symptoms for the last 5 months, I'm actually reasonably happy with this as the long term one to have settled on. Much better choice then constant nausea! Good job head!
But I feel like I'm drowning. The what I had hoped was a reasonable level of commitment to people, and organizations, and family is suddenly just too much. And now I need to figure out what I'm willing to let go of so that I can at least stop feeling worse and worse. I don't want to let go of any of it.
I'm not very brave. I talk to people about my issues one on one, but I have a hard time asking for help. Most of the time I don't even really need much help, I just need, I don't know. Support? Comfort? Understanding? I know that by posting this I will get an email from my Dad (hi Dad!) making sure I'm okay. And I don't really want to draw attention to this, because it's not a big deal. It's really not. I can manage, mostly. We can manage. I have the support I need, I am taking the time I need to feel better.
I guess I just needed to say that right now, this minute, this is all very hard for me. And tomorrow it will be too.

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for writing about this. Sometimes we can manage, but wouldn't it be nice to really thrive? I can certainly offer understanding. I'm sending you a note. I'd like to help.

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  2. Oh dear. Hang in there. Hopefully spring will bring a lift in your spirits?
    Its okay to drop one or two extra things, or do a less-than-stellar job of them, or ask for someone to watch Moira for an afternoon a week so you get some alone time, if thats what you need.
    In any case, sending prayers and virtual hugs your way, Shannon.

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  3. It's how you're feeling and (forgive the PSA-ish-ness) YOU are a big deal! Also sending a note. Hugs.

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  4. I hear you. I'm exhausted, too! I'm trying to think of ways to rest...

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