Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Hello fishy

Lately I am not coping with, well, life very well. I'm tired all the time. It's likely just a flare up of my anxiety disorder, and since I've been playing whack a mole with different symptoms for the last 5 months, I'm actually reasonably happy with this as the long term one to have settled on. Much better choice then constant nausea! Good job head!
But I feel like I'm drowning. The what I had hoped was a reasonable level of commitment to people, and organizations, and family is suddenly just too much. And now I need to figure out what I'm willing to let go of so that I can at least stop feeling worse and worse. I don't want to let go of any of it.
I'm not very brave. I talk to people about my issues one on one, but I have a hard time asking for help. Most of the time I don't even really need much help, I just need, I don't know. Support? Comfort? Understanding? I know that by posting this I will get an email from my Dad (hi Dad!) making sure I'm okay. And I don't really want to draw attention to this, because it's not a big deal. It's really not. I can manage, mostly. We can manage. I have the support I need, I am taking the time I need to feel better.
I guess I just needed to say that right now, this minute, this is all very hard for me. And tomorrow it will be too.


  1. Thank you for writing about this. Sometimes we can manage, but wouldn't it be nice to really thrive? I can certainly offer understanding. I'm sending you a note. I'd like to help.

  2. Oh dear. Hang in there. Hopefully spring will bring a lift in your spirits?
    Its okay to drop one or two extra things, or do a less-than-stellar job of them, or ask for someone to watch Moira for an afternoon a week so you get some alone time, if thats what you need.
    In any case, sending prayers and virtual hugs your way, Shannon.

  3. It's how you're feeling and (forgive the PSA-ish-ness) YOU are a big deal! Also sending a note. Hugs.

  4. I hear you. I'm exhausted, too! I'm trying to think of ways to rest...