Thursday, July 1, 2010

It works

My chiropractor is a single man, and I'm guessing he doesn't have any close friends or relatives with young kids. He is constantly remarking about Moira, her energy, her intelligence... Frequently he mentions her bossiness, or how well she has me trained. I always, loud enough for Moira to hear, rephrase or contradict his statement. She's not bossy, she's 2. She has limited ability to describe what she wants. This is how toddlers are.
Today he said "Moira, you have to learn that Mommy is the boss." I don't know if it was the fact that he directly addressed Moira, or the exact phrasing, but that was a step too far for me.
I told him, no, she doesn't learn I'm the boss. Moira is the boss of Moira, and I am the boss of me and we like to work together. Things work better if we can agree on a goal.
"Really?" he said, "That works?"
I said, "Well, does it work with you? Do you prefer to work with people rather then have someone boss you around?"
Yes, he does. Of course he does, he started his own collective of independently operating medical professionals (our naturopath is in the office too) because he didn't like working in a traditional practice.
It lead to an actual discussion, about something it seems he's never thought of before. I pointed out that even though Moira is little, she is still a person. Just because I'm larger doesn't mean that my wants and whims are more worthy of respect then hers are. If I want to go inside and she wants to stay outside, that doesn't mean that she's wrong and I should force her. I hope that working out compromises with her now will make it easier for her to work them out in the rest of her life.
His last thought was that his girlfriend is an elementary school teacher and she would probably disagree with me. I pointed out that dealing with one kid is totally different then dealing with dozens.
I think my chiropractor is awesome. He takes his time and deals with each of his patients on as an individual with different problems that need different solutions. Hopefully, if he decides to have kids, he can treat them the same way.

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