Monday, May 24, 2010

And the days go by

My Nana is dying. It's not unexpected, and we have the luxury of time to say good bye, but we can count the likely number of days we have left with her on our hands. I'm having a hard time thinking lately while I process this, which doesn't make the process of explaining what's happening to the 2 year old any easier. The 2 year old one who talks about Nana now on a regular basis, but will not remember her for long after she's gone.
Moira is really into adjectives right now. She always starts with hot, "Shoes! Shoes hot?" and then we cycle through the list of adjectives she understands till we either get to one that works, or I supply a new one. She is working on emotions the same way, which means our conversation goes like this.
"Mama sick?"
"No, mama is not sick. Mama is sad because Nana is sick."
"Mama not sick. Mama sad. Nana sick?"
"Nana is sick and she's not getting better."
I figured there should be some explanation, so I talked about the mouse we saw in the woods that didn't move. How we think and feel and talk and Nana will stop doing all that soon and not move, like the mouse. It is good that this is happening while she doesn't translate things that happen to other people into things that might happen to her, or that explanation might have lead to some fear of sleeping. I suppose that could still happen.
We talked about the mouse on Thursday, and yesterday we went to see Nana. After we told her where we were going she remembered that Nana was sick, that I was sad and that Nana was in the hospital the last time she saw her. Walker asked her if she was bringing it up to make Mommy sad and she said, "No, mama (brought it) up." She was also nervous when we were talking to Nana in a way she never had been before, so maybe she understands more then I think she does.
I will miss my Nana.


  1. I wish we had good words to say when things like this happen. You're such an excellent mama, and my thoughts are with you right now.

  2. I'll be thinking of you (and your whole family), please let me know if I can help with Moira at all.