Wednesday, January 20, 2010

On friendship

Making friends has never been easy for me. I have always tended to have a few very close friends that I keep for a long time, and then I form new friendships through those friends. If someone moves, or starts having a schedule that doesn't work well with mine, I have a really hard time maintaining that friendship. Not because I don't want to, but because I worry that I'm bugging them with my silly chatter, or that I'll call at a bad time. I also tend to think that nothing interesting is happening in my life. None of these things is true, and I know that logically, but the combination means that I don't call, and I put off replying to emails, and what have you. And then I lose friends I love because they think I'm not interested in them any more.
I have already had one mommy friend move to the other side of the country. I think I'm doing better at staying in contact, mostly due to Facebook, but I know we are slipping more towards aquaintance with every month I don't pick up the phone. And I really don't want to keep losing people this way.
My big fear right now is that I will let this happen with the wonderful friends I've made in my mommy group. Our kids are gettiing older and we are far spread. People are joining more classes and toddler groups. Preschools are next. Even if we all had similar educational plans for our kids, we are far enough away that we will not be chosing the same schools. I know that I will continue to see them, but it's already harder to combine schedules, and I worry that for fear of being pushy I won't be proactive enough.
I suppose the positive part of this divergence in children's lives is that I will have to keep making new friends. Hopefully, I can become better at keeping them too, and help Moira be a better friend then I have been.


  1. You know, I was actually thinking the same thing (especially regarding schedules, routines, transitions, etc). Maybe we should plan a Mom's Night out (or afternoon out). Getting an event on the calendar (even way in advance) might be a good idea!

  2. I worry about this too! I try to book events when I think you can both make it, and right now I think we're down to pnly the last 3 Tuesdays mornings of every month! Getting together will probably be easier when the girls stop napping.

  3. Well said my friend! :)

    We're actually considering waiting on preschool partially because of that. There's other reasons too, but that's a contributor.

  4. It's very easy for some of us to lose contact even with the people we love best. I fall into the same category, and I've never quite understood why I let myself drift. It's something I continue to work on. Best of luck maintaining your contact!